It’s about timing and relationship that determines if your child will have want to negotiate or not. For example, there is no negotiation when a new baby is born. From feeding to clothing to diaper change, everything is taken care of without any sort of negotiation.
As a kid matures, his ability to think and perceive begins to take over his choices and decisions. Well, we all know that when the child is young, there are not many wise decisions made by them and for that reason, we must say no, often. That’s how nature has established the parent-child relationship. With these blunt ‘NO’ answers, frustration persists in a child—they would cry, become angry or go to sleep. That’s how it is during the early growth stages.
Well, this is how it works: when things go wrong in our daily lives, we adapt, accept or try to change. The end product is maturation. But, negotiation is something that hurdles up in this maturation process. Kids don’t like too much power; it makes them insecure because they get confused and their brains panic when they have to process too many things together.
Does this hold true for teens too? Nope.
Putting the hammer down on negotiations and giving hard “no’s” to your teen can inflict serious damage to your relationship. This can lead to a ballistic attitude from your teen or they may even start lying to you.
It’s not your teen’s fault at all. All those years, they have been free birds, with lax boundaries to fly around. But now, you just want to ‘cage’ them. That’s how they would see it, at least.
So the golden rule to not sever your relationship is by preserving the relationship. And how can you do it? By making sure they aren’t given any blunt, “one- liners”, with no room for negotiationHav. Kids can handle a lot of tantrums and no’s, but for teens, their brain is different.
When dealing with teens, you can either choose to struggle or you can give some space to build to connection.
As you will start connecting with your child, there will be less need for negotiating. You can then start with slow changes that won’t lead to much resentment. Sometimes, it would be a good idea to have your teen adult tantrums, trust me, it won’t kill them.
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